I need a hug -- UPDATED

I am sitting here crying like a baby right now because I am so frustrated.

I have been trying to find childcare for Matty for weeks now, and today every good lead I had fell through.

I start back to school next Tuesday and need someone to watch Matty two days a week. I still am not sure which days, as I am on the wait list for a class that meets Monday and Wednesday. I am enrolled in a different class that meets Tuesday and Thursday, but if I get into the other class I will be dropping the T-Th one. I won't know for sure until next week.

Anyway, every provider I have talked to either isn't doing childcare anymore or not taking temporary kids. Matty will be starting preschool either in April, when he turns 2, or as soon as the preschool opens up its infant room, which will hopefully be within the next month. All our relatives here work and can't watch him. I was told by my school adviser to call about childcare at the college, since it is offered. I called, and they told me that I have to be low-income to qualify to be on the wait list. I am considered "private pay," and they're not taking any of our kind right now.

I feel like the college is penalizing me because Tim has a decent job, which he has worked hard for. I know this will sound rude, but why are only "poor" people deserving of help? Just because I don't live in the projects doesn't mean I don't want to better my situation, which is part of the reason I am pursuing this second career.

I don't have options for childcare coming out my ears. It seems like I would have a much easier time getting childcare if I was low-income. I am currently waiting for a call back from the local child care council, but I was told already that many of their providers only do low-income, also.

It is so stupid to be sitting here crying over this, but I don't know what else to do. I can't take Matty to school with me. If only they offered what I need at night, like the class I took last semester.

Oh, and I just want to add that someone gave me the name of a girl who would be interested in babysitting. She used to work at Kara's preschool. Then this person told me that the reason this girl got fired is because she got two DUI's recently. And she's only 21. OMG, why on Earth does anyone think I want some chick with DUI's watching my son??!!??


***Update***

I can just say I have cried A LOT today over this. I called the local Child Care Council this morning, which has names and numbers of childcare providers in my area. I called about a dozen providers in my area (pretty much the whole list) and spent a couple hours on the phone. Nearly all said they couldn't take him because he is under two and considered an "infant" by the state and they are only allowed so many infants in their care. If he was two already, then they could have taken him. But if he was two, he'd be going to the preschool Kara goes to, so it would be a non-issue anyway, you know? A few others said they don't take part-time or temporary kids, because no matter what he will be going to preschool starting in April. I can understand they want to fill their slots with long-term kids. They need to make money, after all.

The Child Care Council lady told me that it is very difficult to find care in our area for infants. We live in what's considered a rural county, and there just are not enough providers for the need here. Plus, all the providers I talked to said they have to have a certain number of spots open for low-income clients who use vouchers, so that automatically takes up a whole bunch of spaces that people like myself could use.

This whole thing is so frustrating. I just called my mom a little while ago and bawled my eyes out again. I am so tired about crying over this, but I feel helpless. The preschool Kara goes to is supposed to be opening an infant room for kids Matty's age, but they said it could take another three to four weeks, minimum. I need someone now! *sigh*